Dec 11 2015

Ipso Factory 10 12 15

rhino Who’s your leader, which is your flock?

Selections this week were informed by the torrent of misogyny, abuse, and threats of violence being hurled at our provincial government for the audacity of bringing rural labour practices and protections in line with the rest of Canada, as with practices and protections in other sectors.

My personal feeling is that this shit-storm has been brewing since Alberta elected its first progressive government in the history of time; the opponents of that government were simply waiting for the right alignment of celestial bodies before they launched an all-out broadside. It’s ugly, but I think the right may have spent its political capital too early in the NDP’s 4-year mandate. That’s the nature of rage machines; self-control is not one of their strengths. None of this is about whether agricultural employees are covered by Workmans’ Comp. or whether accidents on farms to fall within the purview of Occupational Health and Safety; for the right, it’s about their fear of modernity and their hatred of ‘socialism’, for the not-right, it’s about whether a petro-agro-state like Alberta can be dragged into the 21st century.

It’s also about whether or not we allow blustering, violent, woman-hating assholes to intimidate our politics. To Hell with them, I say.

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Dec 4 2015

Ipso Factory 03 12 15

rhino But I don’t want it now, I want it 8 minutes ago!

Selections for this week’s show were inspired – if you can call it that – by the boiling cauldron of batshit that’s been brewing, maliciously stoked, out here in the Wildrose country. In case you had been in doubt, it is now abundantly clear that we have a teabag insurrection going on, replete with raging, threats, conspiracy-mongering, opportunism, flagrant misinformation campaigns aided by self-inflicted memory erasure, and mock-martyrdom, leavened, as always, with belligerent stupidity. It’s interesting to see how readily the Right reaches for Stalinist cliches and pitches ‘solidarity’ as part of its union phobia.

Here, then, is my Bill 6 show.

Negativland ~ Christianity is Stupid

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Nov 20 2015

Ipso Factory 19 11 15

rhino and there’s no sickness, toil or danger in that bright land to which I go

This week’s program is directed at the cowards and the bigots of the anti-refugee mob, and especially at the reasonable ones who only want to “hit the pause button”. Pause our response to this massive humanitarian crisis? Sure, why not? As long as for every minute we pause, one of these photographs gets stapled to your eyelids.

The UN protocols for processing refugees have worked for many years, for many host countries and for refugees fleeing many different crises around the world; they will work just fine for Canada now. “Refugee” means you are stateless now, you are helpless now, you are vulnerable now. Refusing to grant refuge now means that you are an “asshole” and, as regards Daesh, you are a surrender monkey.

Da'esh

If I had the time, and Photoshop, I’d have added Saskatchewan to the above graphic, but I’m rather fond of Saskatchewan and don’t hold all of it responsible for its craven jerk of a current Premier.

In other news:
Kudos to Rachel Notley and the NDP government for Bill 7.

Pink Mountaintops ~ Gayest of Sunbeams

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Nov 13 2015

WRPK in New Albertastan, ep. 3

derek-fildebrandt

WRPK in New Albertastan

A pair of lovable know-nothing zealots engage in hilarious hijinks as they battle creeping socialism and corporate welfare in the prairie heartland.

Episode 3: Santa’s Government Claws

Scene: WRP HQ

Brian sits at a desk working through a stack of Christmas cards. Derek walks up.

Derek: Signing Christmas cards for the members, are you boss?

Brian: That’s right.

Derek: and you’re… …um.

Brian: Putting a big black X on Santa’s face before they get sent out. That’s right. Because why? Because Santa’s a socialist, that’s why. This whole picking who’s naughty and nice thing, that’s big government pick winners and losers. And picking winners and losers is…?

Derek: …is for free markets to decide.

Brian: That’s right too. Markets and only markets.

Derek: You know how you were telling me to worry about the optics…

Brian: Yeah?

Derek: And you know how you were saying we should boycott Notley’s secret Santa for the Leg?

Brian: Yeah?

Derek: Well the optic might not be so good if we don’t give anything. So how about we give out just a card with this in it? (Hands Brian a slip of paper)

Brian: (reading) “The WRP invites you to join in its boycott of socialist Santa. Christmas is for Christ, not creeping communism.” Hey that’s good, Derek, poetic, even.

Derek: Thanks, boss.

Brian: And you’re right about the optics. We don’t wanna seem heartless. Don’t get me wrong, Scrooge was right about a lot of things, but hey, bad optics. (Grabs his stack of Christmas cards) Tighten your belt, Derek, we got a party to crash.

Scene: Derek stands gloomily near people in festive spirits. Brian walks up.

Brian: That was weird. She winked at me.

Derek: Winked at you? That is weird, boss. Whose name did you draw?

Brian: (glances at a slip of paper) Oh, that is kinda funny. I got your name. Ha ha. (Hands Derek an envelope) “The WRP invites you to join in its boycott of socialist Santa. Christmas is for Christ, not creeping communism.” Ha ha. Who did you get?

Derek: Well, that is funny, boss, cuz I got your name. (Tries to hand Brian an envelope) “The WRP invites YOU to…

Brian: (scowling) I know what the card says, Derek. Shut up!

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Nov 13 2015

WRPK in New Albertastan, ep. 2

derek-fildebrandt

WRPK in New Albertastan

A pair of lovable know-nothing zealots engage in hilarious hijinks as they battle creeping socialism and corporate welfare in the prairie heartland.

Episode 2: Jaws of Life/Jaws of Debt

Scene: Vehicle interior at night

Brian: (Driving. Thumps the wheel angrily) This is taking forever! Damn Notley and her highway improvements!

Derek: Easy boss, I just bought this baby.

Brian: Sorry Derek, wouldn’t want to hurt your Hummer. But you know why I hate highways? It’s big government telling ya this is the way ya gotta go. Ya wanna get from Bonnyville to Cold Lake? Big government says ya gotta take the 28.

Derek: We could’a taken the 41 through LaCorey…

Brian: (glares) Do you mind, Derek? I’m philosophizing. See, when we settled this land, covered wagons crossing the prairie could go anyway they wanted. Sure you could follow the trail, but an enterprising guy could just blaze his own trail if he wanted, maybe even find a better one.

Derek: Totally agreed, boss. Off-road capability is essential to entrepreneurial spirit. It’s like you always say, boss…

Brian and Derek: Never trust a guy who doesn’t own a Ski-doo.

Brian: Hey, this new baby of yours got off-road capability?

Derek: You betcha! And a power winch.

Brian: Tighten yer belt, Derek, we’re blazing our own trail all the way to Cold Lake!

Derek: (Out the window) So long, suckers. Enjoy your little Notley-jam!

Thump, thump, bang.

State-mandated airbags deploy.

A professional and efficient EMT team, funded by Alberta Healthcare arrives and extricates our heroes.

No WRP officials were harmed in the writing of this sketch.

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Nov 13 2015

WRPK in New Albertastan, ep. 1

derek-fildebrandt

WRPK in New Albertastan

A pair of lovable know-nothing zealots engage in hilarious hijinks as they battle creeping socialism and corporate welfare in the prairie heartland.

Episode 1: A Pair of Ducks

Scene: WRP HQ

Derek: (sitting at a computer station) I hate this.

Brian: (walking by) This what?

Derek: This Twitter thing, these people keep yelling at me.

Brian: (looks over Derek’s shoulder) Wow, that’s a lotta frowny faces.

Derek: Yeah, frowny face, frowny face, frowny face. And this guy keeps posting the same thing over and over, and look at all the retweets! “WRP bad for economy. They don’t get the paradox of thrift.”

Brian: (puzzled) The pair of docks… …thrift?

Derek: Yeah, apparently we don’t got it, and it’s a big deal, says Mr Smarty Pants on Twitter.

Brian: (grabbing his coat) Tighten yer belt Derek, were going to the Value Village.

Derek: You think they have one there?

Brian: Let’s hope they have two. I don’t wanna be driving around all day. (As they exit) Do you know how to get frowny faces? We gotta start using those.

Derek: I’ll get the tech guy on it, boss.

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